Communication

"what we've got here , is... failure to communicate. some men you just can't reach. so you get what we had here last week. which is the way he wants it. well, he gets it. i don't like it any more than you men." - warden martin from cool hand luke

it's funny how sometimes even when you try your best to communicate information to someone, you're still the one who everyone blames when someone else drops the ball. today i received a suprising phone call at work. a client who i haden't spoken with in over a month called me and asked me about the status of his job. it took me a second to recall his job from the dusty archives of my scattered brain. i collected my thoughts and told him that as of the last time we spoke (over a month ago), he had placed that project on hold, and it was to remain on hold until he notified me otherwise. i even sent him a subsequent email stating the exact same back on the day of that conversation. so, naturally, he proceeds to get upset with me for prolonging the project, and hangs up on me! awesome!

not 10 minutes later i get a phone call from my boss asking me what happened with the previously-mentioned project...why i dropped the ball and why the client is all ticked off and now looking for a new architect? are you freaking kidding me! i did everything right, and somehow i'm still the bad guy! after a couple minutes of defending myself, i get my boss back on my side. as for the client, perhaps warden martin was right, "some men you just can't reach."

A Day Of Rest

in fulfilling tasks that depend upon accessing energy, there is a fine line between fidelity to work and foolishness to self. there are times when your determination to continue working carries you through, regardless of your inability to extend your energy. by sheer willpower alone you meet the personal or business goals you have set for yourself. in spite of abiding fatigue, you call forth seeming undiminished reserves. in fact, you often use tiredness itself as a private index to prove that you are working invaluably hard. a serious problem exists here even though you can't acknowledge it.

atlast, your mental and physical pace cannot be sufficiently supplied by the energy at your current disposal. you are using up more energy than can be replaced. so you assume that your sincere will to accomplish the task at hand can compensate for the lack of vitality. the more you try to succeed, however, the harder the struggle becomes and the more miserable you feel. too bad. lashing your tired self with the whip of willpower becomes a persecution, but the fear of impending defeat, threatening your self-esteem, pushes you on until you are forced to stop.

and stop i did, yesterday. my body had finally had enough of the constant going, and it gave out. i left work early feeling horrible and exhausted....i came home and i slept! in fact, if my math is correct, i believe i slept for about 13 straight hours. i saw this coming too. i knew my body well enought to know that a collapse was coming. i even requested the day off next monday for just this reason...to recharge. katy and i were to go out of town for a long and restful weekend away...but things change. now, not only are we not going out of town, but we have other commitments...such is life. so, needless to say, i was just shooting for monday. then i could relax and have my day of rest. i didn't make it to monday, but i'm still getting my day!

The Sims

"even eternally free people are enslaved by the process of living." - chuck klosterman

i don't know how many people have played the video game 'the sims'... but if you've played it for more than 15 minutes, one thing most certainly becomes apparently clear; your character isn't happy unless he/she is constanly purchasing something. whether it be a new flat screen tv, mahogany dining room table, the latest in kitching lighting or a new designer outfit, if you're not spending, you're not living! the funny thing is, this game can become highly addicting. it can actually develop into you having no real life because you're too consumed trying to better your sims life.

on the surface, this may just seem like a great selling video game and nothing more. but i think it's a great microcosm of our culture today as a whole. never have we been more consumed with consuming ourselves. what are we constantly spending our paychecks on... a new flat screen tv, mahogany dining room table, the latest in kitching lighting or a new designer outfit? consuming defines america. everyone is looked at and judged by how big their house is or what kind of car they drive instead of what kind of person they really are.

consuming drives this country. the government is even going so far as to send everyone tax-relief checks worth $1000 or so and urge everyone to go out and spend. after all, consistant consuming is good for the country, right? the notorious b.i.g. once sang, "mo money mo problems"...and he should know. after all, he was shot to death! perhaps this country needs a real wakeup call, a real change in values. lets step out of the video game world and into real life. lets find a way to make our sim happy without swiping the credit card...

Day 4; I've Got The McShakes

so, today is the final day of my fast. i'm actually felling a pretty good right now. i've got a pretty bad headache and sinus pressure and drainage, but i'm blaming the mountain cedar on that one. yesterday i wrote ryan and told him "i hope God is messing with your head, because He sure is with mine!". i have been doing a lot of talking with God over the past 4 days, and he's reavealed to me some pretty amazing things! more on those things in a couple days, once my brain and heart has processed all that i've heard and seen.

i know i wrote yesterday that when you seem to have it all figured out, God throws you a curve ball, right...well, He threw an entire 9-inning's worth of them at me last night! i went to my dimensions of wellness class last night and we watched Super Size Me!! are you freaking kidding me!? i haven't eaten in 3 days and i have to watch a movie all about a guy stuffing his face with mcdonald's for a month! for those of you who haven't seen this movie (which i would highly recommend you do), the filmmaker; morgan spurlock; displays the downfall of american health through poor eating habits. in order to lighten up the amount of information regarding our love for that which kills us, spurlock decides to see what would happen to his health if he were to only eat at mcdonald's for an entire month; breakfast, lunch & dinner. the results are astounding! even the doctor's said they would never have guessed that someone could do so much damage to their body in so little time. oh, did i mention that he gained over 25 pounds in 29 days!

of course, that was all secondary information for me...all i really thought about was the big mac, quarter-pounder w/ cheese and their deliciously addictive french fries! for 2 hours, i saw a guy stuff his face with fat, and i wanted to be him. this really makes me realize now just how weak i am. Jesus went 40 days in the desert, and i'm struggling to go 4! i bet Jesus never got the mcshakes...

Day 3 of 4; Encouragement

this morning i met with my good friend for breakfast like we do every thursday morning at 6am. it was a tough morning. i didn't want to get up. my body has realized that without food, there's no energy either. so, needless to say, getting out of bed this morning was a chore. but i got up because i live for my thursday morning chats...and because i was hoping to share my fasting story with him and get some encouagement. but; like always; when you think you have things figured out, God throws you a curve ball.

when i arrived, i ordered a water and coffee and sat there waiting for him. he showed up a couple minutes later, got a couple tacos (the most amazing looking tacos ever as seen by my food starved mind) and we proceeded to chat. he asked me if i was eating, and i told him about my fast. immediately he was encouraged. we proceeded to talk about the past week, our spiritual walk, other life issues, etc. but eventually it went back to fasting. fasting for discipline, fasting for prayer, fasting for hope, fasting for direction. somehow in my goofy words, God must have spoke to my friend. he told me he was really seeking direction and a goal. he felt like life was just going by each day, but he wasn't giving it his all (who does?). he decided at that moment to fast next week and really be obidient to God and trust Him...to really listen to what God is calling him to do.

i showed up this morning seeking encouragement and instead gave out advice. only God could work things out that way. i am very encouraged...

Day 2 of 4; Hunger Sets In*

i am fasting...4 days, no food. just fluids (water, grape juice, coffee, orange juice, tequila**). i never thought i'd ever fast, honestly. that just seemed like a crazy idea...and i love food way too much! but, upon reading a simple comment from sara (the blog lurker), she motivated ryan and i...and God placed something on our hearts. last week, ryan and i slept out in the freezing cold (click here) to gain a better perspective of what it must feel like (not that one night can even compare) to be homeless. but prior to our jaunt to the outdoors, i filled my belly with enough food to feed a small family. i know God is placing these things in my life for a reason. i have always sat back and wondered what it must feel like to have this or that situation happen to me. but i've learned, you'll never know the feeling from just sitting around and thinking about it....you must do it.

0nce a month we feed the homeless downtown (pancakes with a side of love), and i hear stories and see pictures of children in south african squatter camps grateful just to have a sandwich that someone made for them (likely their only meal of the day), and i feel compassion. i want things to be different for all of them.

i also want food. i haven't had anything to eat since dinner on monday night...and i won't eat again until saturday morning. everytime i feel hunger (which i imagine will be quite often come tomorrow and friday) i am going to thank God. thank Him for ryan and sara. thank Him for my wife. thank Him for kyle, stef and tiff, who relay their amazing stories of struggle, heartache, hunger and victory from those very same squatter camps. thank Him for the homeless that we feed. thank Him for the people who "get it". thank Him for the many others who don't. and i'm going to pray to Him. pray for change. pray for eyes to be opened to what else is out there. pray that someday, someone will see possibilites and change, just as i am finally beginning to see.

everytime i think of this subject, for some reason 4 lines of a john mayer song always pop into my head:

"One day our generation

Is gonna rule the population

So we keep on waiting

Waiting on the world to change"

i can't wait...

*thanks ryan for allowing me to borrow your title!

**no, not really tequila

How Small We Really Are

do you ever look up at the stars at night and allow your mind to drift? do you wonder what all is out there? ever think about just how big this universe really is? well, if you're a nerd like me, you do this quite often. the following passsage is from a book that i've been reading entitled In The Presence Of Mystery.

"we live in this continuously expanding universe. it is a very large one. to get an idea of the amount of matter and space involved, begin with a pea about one-third of an inch in diameter. let that stand for the earth (a little less than eight thousand miles in diameter). put the pea next to a very large beach ball, one full yard in diameter, to represent the sun (eight hundred sixty-four thousand miles in diameter). now, put the pea at one end of a football field and the ball at the other end, about one hundred ten yards apart. that approximates the average distance between earth and sun (ninety-three million miles). the earth is quite close to the sun compared to the outermost planets. *pluto's average distance from the sun is forty times as far as earth's. if the whole solar system out ot pluto were shrunk to one inch, on that scale the nearest star would be ninety yards away. our solar system is three-fourths of the way out from the center of a cluster of stars known to us as the milky way, a galaxy with as many as perhaps three hundred billion stars. there are an estimated hundred billion such galaxies in the known universe, each of them averaging another hundred billion stars or so. this speck of rock called earth can seem insignificant in a universe where even our entire milky way galaxy is lost among a hundred billion others. in a few million years our sun will follow the normal course in the life of a small to medium sized star, first bloating out into a "red giant" burning the earth raw and then collapsing and dying."

over a hundred billion galaxies! i'll never be able to comprehend that. scientists estimate that our planet was formed approximately fourteen billion years ago. meaning that even on our little speck of rock called earth, our lives won't even be a tiny dot on the timeline of this planet. so, why we we still think we're so imporant? why do we persist that our lives on this planet mean anything? we get so caught up on the 'american dream'....fancy car, big house, etc, that we completely lose sight of the much bigger picture. when our speck of a life is up on this rock and we're dead and gone...what then? what about your eternal life? so, what's more important, planning for tomorrow, or eternity?



*apparently pluto is no longer a planet. i'm not sure how they (whoever they are) decided this (nor do i care). i just know that its really far away from here.

Patience

if...i was able to show even a fraction of the patience towards others the way that God constantly and without fail shows to us. God, i pray that someday i will be there. in the meantime, thank you for putting up with me!

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." Colossians 3:12 NIV

-and thanks ryan for inspiring me to be a better person.

Into the Cold

how many times do you see a homeless person on the side of the road, begging for change? how often do you see a makeshift bed of cardboard, newspaper and blankets under the overpass and get disgusted? or how many times to you see a vagrant walking slowly down the street, wrapped in dirty blankets, and think, "wow, that must be a horrible way to live", only to turn the corner, turn up the heater and forget all about them?

the other day, my friend/brother ryan and i had a conversation about what it must be like to be homeless. to literlly live outdoors all the time, in the weather, without a pillow to lay your head or any modern convinence that we completely take for granted everyday. we wondered what it must feel like to have that be your life, to be at the mercy of the elements and the other desperate people living among you. i decided that wondering could only take us so far into this reality, but actually living the life was the only way to further understand what it took to be homeless.

so, i told ryan that saturday night he and i were going to sleep on my concrete 2nd floor balcony overnight. no pillows, no bed, no heater, no restroom, no food, nothing besides what we could put on our bodies. so around 10pm last night we put on a few layers of warm clothes and headed outside. to say that i was looking forward to what we were about to partake in for the next several hours would have been a complete lie. it was to be the coldest night of the season so far, with lows in the 20's. i wanted to sleep next to my wife, in our bed, in the convinence of our warm house. but that wasn't good enough. that wouldn't have answered any of our questions. i would have been like every other person, saying "wow, that must be a horrible way to live", only to forget the situation and snuggle under the covers.

so, as ryan and i got accustomed to our new home for the night, we sat there and talked about so many things... marriage, beer, solar systems, Jesus and coyotes, among countless others...but we never got comfortable...or warm. within an hour our feet were aching from the cold. there was nothing we could do to get warm...we were wrapped in layers of clothes from head to toe, and we were shivering all night. we layed there on our frozen concrete bed and tried to sleep...but very little came. we'd drift off for a few minutes, only to be awaken by a car alarm, or a train, or a yelling person, or our own stinging feet and shivering body.

we could have very easily gotten up, walked two feet and been inside a heated house with soft beds and pillows...but we would have failed. we would have failed ourselves and every real homeless person who goes through this same life every single night. we wouldn't have known what it meant to have a tough night, even if only for one night. i can't even fathom what it must feel like to live that way everyday of my life. to not know if or when you'll find that light at the end of the tunnel. it was miserable, and morning couldn't come fast enough. but eventually, it did...and we were quickly inside again, snuggled under the blankets with our head resting on soft pillows.

hopefully next time you see a homeless person shivering on the street corner, begging for change, you'll put down your double mocha cappuccino, roll down your window, pull out the coins in your ashtray and offer it to them, without judgement. so what if they're just going to take that money to the corner store to buy a beer... i know we could have gone for one last night to keep us warm!

Hereditary Issues

so, today i went to the doctor for a follow-up appointment. i went to the doctor last week because i just wasn't feeling right...for about 2 weeks i was totally exhausted, both physically and mentally. he talked to me, he listened to me, he ran tests, he took blood and he told me to come back in a week. well, today was a week, so back in his office i was!

my doctor came in, talked to me about my test results and took my blood pressure...high again! he then asked me if i had any family history of high blood pressure? i told him, "yep, on both sides of my family." so, he said i should thank them for my health problems and wrote me a perscription for blood pressure medication. he said to stay off the salt, get plenty of exercise, take my medication and come back in a month for a check-up.

if only i'd known a few years ago about my future health issues, perhaps i'd have started taking precautions then. you know, taking it easy on the salty foods, exercising a little more, etc. if 0nly my parents could have warned me when i was about 15 years old, perhaps i wouldn't feel like an old man today having to take blood pressure meds. but, what's in the past is in the past. that being said, i can always warn my future son (notice i wrote son...the though of me having a daughter might put me over the edge and give me a heart attack!) now about his future health problems. perhaps that would make a difference. so, if you don't mind, i'd like to take a moment to wrote him a letter pertaining to his future.

dear son,

i'm writing this in the year 2008. buy now, it's the year 2025, and you're about 15 years old. i just wanted to take a minute of your time to let you know a few things about yourself and your future health. first off, if you have scoliosis problems, thank your mother. she's always had the question mark spine! next, if you're wondering why it feels like bad luck is following you around and you've had more stitches than birthdays, you can thank me for that one. i was always a bit clutsy and constanly in the emergency room. hopefully by the year 2025 they have some advances in medical technology and they can just glue your cuts back together instantly. i always hated the sight of stitches on people and the sight of someone elses blood makes me a bit queezy.

now, if you have stomach problems, you can just go ahead and blame both your mother and i for that one. your mom did have her gall bladder removed in 2007 though, and ever since then it's been quite better. as for me, i have 'other' stomach problems. your uncle kyle and aunt stefani gave my stomach issue a rather cleaver medical name, SBD (stinky butt disease). so, if you inherit that mysterious medical condition, just lay off the beans and cheese. oh, and just between you and me, son, your aunt stefani has a case of SBD too!

other things you may inherit from your mother include: the ability to cry at a moments notice, a freckle in your right eye, random headaches that appear practially every night around bedtime, toes that resemble water ski's, OCD, a desire to watch the news at least 4 times a day, a heart-melting laugh and a beautiful smile. oh, and you will always be cold!

a few things you might inherit from me are: random accidents and injuries, extreme shyness until about the age 18, at which time you will become very loud and people will only wish you were still shy, the ability to pee on people in your sleep, ADD, excellent knowledge of streets and landmarks, extreme annoyance of all people who don't use their turning signals, acid reflux, high blood pressure and the ability to eat practically anything, including; but not limited to; dirt, bugs, ketchup as a meal, not just a condiment, and peanut shells off a dirty bar floor.

well son, i think that should be enough to process for now. i'll write again someday to explain the reasoning behind your first name (it was your mom's idea, not mine), tell you all about the glory days of basketball when the spurs won 4 titles in 9 years (before inflated player salaries caused outrageous ticket prices and before the invention of HD tv), tell you all about when loop 1604 was still a 4 lane road and 281 had stop lights (hopefully by the year 2025 these issues have been fixed). oh, and i'm sorry if all your friends find your mom hot. what can i say, she's a knockout!

love,

Dad

Fellowship

fellowship is a funny thing. sometimes it can happen without even a word being said. case in point… saturday night a few of us (namely: katy, daniel, anna, ryan, taylor; amongst others…people who have met pastor willie before or served with him) went to kyle’s parents house to hangout with pastor willie (the pastor from south africa who kyle and stefani are working with). eventually, it ended up being just daniel, taylor, ryan and myself sitting outside around the fire pit, enjoying each others company. conversation topics included: homelessness and drug use, money and materialism, camping, retreats, fellowship, the tribe, marriage, parents, and selfishness, just to name a few. but the time i enjoyed the most was the couple minutes when nothing was said. we all just sat there in silence, staring into the fire and soaking in it’s warmth for a few minutes. nothing was said, and it was perfect! it was a beautiful example of fellowship in all its glory…the connection had already been set…the understanding was there…God was our common thread…

A Fish Tale - Update #4

well, its been a while (5 days) since i last updated you on the status of the fish, so here you go.... yesterday afternoon i fed the 2 remaining red, orange and black fish of different species as usual. and as usual, they swam up to the top of the bowl to feed on foul-smelling fish flakes. i walked away and went about my day around the house. no more than 15 minutes later katy walks by and informs me that one of the fish is dead. i walk over to inspect (and shake the bowl)...sure enough, another one bites the dust! well, down to one! annoyed (and slightly humored) i walk away.

less than 10 minutes later i walk into the kitchen to grab a cookie (or about 15) to hold me over until dinner when i notice that not only is one of the fish lying motionless on its side at the bottom of the bowl, but now the other (and last) red, orange and black fish of different species has decided to join in! are you freaking kidding me! they both outlived all the other fish by nearly a week, then decide to die within minutes of each other... can someone please explain this to me? could the one fish not live without the other? did the fish not feel any sense of purpose in life anymore without its companion? do fish experience heartache? (these are rhetorical questions, obviously.)

so, that's it! all of our fish are no more. 2 weeks ago we had 8 fish and now (thanks to suicides, a possible serial killer and assumed loniless or boredom) they are all dead. i have nothing else to say on the matter...that is, until we buy more!

Dimensions of Wellness

last night in my dimensions of wellness class we discussed the 6 dimensions to wellness. basically, if you're happy with these 6 aspects in your life, then you should be happy with your life! those 6 dimensions are: spiritual, physical, emotional, intellectual, social and occupational. the most important thing is a balance of all the dimensions.

i know i'm quite pleased with where i stand on some of these...but others need work. there is a plan in place though. now comes the hard part, the execution of that plan! i have no doubt that i'll get there though...those goals will become reality...i will cross the finish line.

so, how many of these dimensions are you happy with in your life? how many need some serious work? how many of these do you put on the back burner in order to focus on others? how far away is your finish line?

Judge Me

why is it that we constantly judge others? and how often do we even realize that we're doing it? how often do we ignore our next door neighbor because of the way they dress, the car they drive or their less than immaculate yard and not even think twice? how many times do we go out of our way at the store or mall parking lot to completely avoid someone simply because of the way they look, and we seem to be okay with that? no eye contact, no smile...just a quick shuffle of the feet, eyes focused on the ground before us until they're 'safely' behind us. how often do we judge someone's tone and emotion simply by their word placement in a text message or email? how many people are trying to judge my tone and emotion right now while reading these words on the screen?

we know we're called not to judge and not to treat others unequally, so why do we? why does that seem to be such a difficult idea to comprehend? why does it for some reason seem okay to do? don't steal, check... don't cheat, no problem... don't judge, now that's a tough one.

is it because we really just don't trust people? somewhere along the line, someone did us over, so ever since then doubt has creapt in our heads? is it because that's the way we were raised? we saw our parents doing it so it must be okay? is it because for some reason we think we're important and our opinion matters more than the next guy? or is it because no one else has to know we're judging someone? if we steal long enough, we're gunna get caught. if we cheat long enough, we're gunna get caught. but if we judge long enough, what happens? who really knows?

A Fish Tale - Update #3

well, i officially give up! i don't know what else to do. apparently these fish are determined to die! how is it that i could have a one-eyed goldfish that i won at a grade school festival live in a dirty fish bowl on the back of my toilet for over a year when i was 8, but i can't keep these fish alive? between these fish and a dog that throws up nearly everyday (i'm convinced he's bulimic), i fear for my future children! is this a sign of poor parenting skills?

friday morning katy and i awoke to yet another dead fish. this time, one of the red, orange and black fish of different species had kicked the bucket. he was just floating upside down at the top of the bowl. i honestly thought that the last 2 were dead also, but they were just laying on the rocks...apparently trying to get as far away from the dead fish as possible. i removed the dead fish, flushed it, along with 2 others that were still in the other bowl, and cleaned out the water (and hopefully the curse). i think we should start making bets as to when the next one croakes! we could start a line in vegas for this! what would the over/under be, like 18 hours? as of this morning, the last 2 remaining red, orange and black fish of different species were swimming around as normal...but that was over 9 hours ago...anything could have happened by now! place your bets!

Decide

in life, we make decisions everyday....some large, some small, but all important. when it comes to the important ones, there are no easy decisions. to decide requires a death, a dying to a thousand options, the throwing aside of multitudes of possibilities in order to choose only one. de-cide. homo-cide. sui-cide. parti-cide. the root word decidere means "to cut off". every decision cuts us off, separates us from nearly infinite objects as we select just one single path. and every decision we make earns us the favor of some and the disfavor of others. i know that in the past i have been in the disfavor of many, but all i'm searching for, making my decisions for is the favor of ONE. who are you trying to win the favor of? decide...

A Fish Tale - Update #2

well, it's been 3 days since i last updated you on the status of the suicidal fish, so i guess it's time for an update. last night, i got home from work, said hello to katy and duncan, walked over to the fish bowls, checked for jumpers (they're all accounted for), dropped in some food and headed to the bedroom to change. about 10 minutes passed, i walked into the kitchen, glanced over at the fish bowls again, and what did i see....only one tiny silver, blue and orange fish swimming in the bowl. where was the other one? i immediately checked the counter and floor for another dead fish...nothing. i looked back into the bowl, and there it was, laying lifeless on the bottom of the rocks! wonderful!! all the while the other (and only remaning) tiny silver, blue and orange fish was just eating away.

frustrated, i removed the live fish and added him to the other bowl with the 3 different red, orange and black fish of different species. there, job done! whatever curse was present in that fish bowl was history! victory was mine....or so i thought. but, of course, as always, i was wrong!

within 5 minutes the 3 different red, orange and black fish of different species were head-butting the tiny silver, blue and orange fish to death. in the matter of a couple minutes, the tiny silver, blue and orange fish was dead, floating at the top of the bowl!!

were the 3 different red, orange and black fish of different species just "defending their turf" or was there more to it? had they witnessed the carnage that had taken place over the past week in the other fish bowl and decided to collectively rid themselves of the problem? was the now dead tiny silver, blue and orange fish the culprit all along? was he the murderer? had he caused all the other fish to die? are my 3 different red, orange and black fish the detectives that i was looking for all along? where they my david caruso? i'll keep you updated!

Happy New You

what's good about the dawn of a new year is that it gives us an incentive to 'start again', to discard the bad habits of the previous year and to begin afresh. a survey finds that only 9% of americans are serious about achieving their goals. 51% don't have new years resolutions and of those that do, 79% don't have a plan to achieve them.

below is a list of the top 10 new years resolutions as decided by about.com.

1. spend more time with family and friends

2. fit in fitness

3. tame the bulge

4. quit smoking

5. enjoy more life

6. quit drinking

7. get out of debt

8. learn something new

9. help others

10. get organized

do any of these resolutions sound familiar? i know they do to me...and i know that i've failed in holding to them in the past. some were even broken the same day i made them. so, how can we make a resolution and actually stick to them?

i know for me i had to first be honest with myself. i had to do these things for me, and not just because others wanted me to. peer pressure can only take you so far. what you do when no one else is around is what really matters.

i know many people gave up on making new years resolutions a long time ago. perhaps because they are content with their life. perhaps because they think the idea of making a resolution is silly. or perhaps because they've lied to themselves so many times before about what they're going to change that they can't even trust themselves anymore! sound familiar?

i'm sure you're asking yourself; "okay jeff, what's your new years resolution?" well, here's mine for all to see... my new years resolution is to live a life that Jesus would be proud of...to do my best to make every action, word and thought one that He would approve of. now, i know i'm gunna slip up...alot. but i also know that His grace is enough for me. i'll simply get back up, dust myself off, and go at it again.

Philippians 3:13-14 "Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus"

so, my question to you is, "what's your resolution"?