Broken Heart + Open Eyes = God's Shopping Spree

*yesterday morning, katy received a phone call from our church, asking if she could take an 18-year old girl shopping for her first day of work. katy was told the time, location and girl's name and that the girl had a daughter... that was pretty much all the information she was given. katy gladly accepted the request and went about the rest of her day.

the following post wasn't written by me, but by my beautiful wife, katy. the words are from an email she sent our pastor, and they are words that truly break your heart and hopefully make you reevaluate your own life a bit. keep in mind, the following is taken from an informal email, not a doctoral dissertation, so enjoy the playful language that she uses to describe the less than playful situation."last night was amazing! i didnt drop her off until around 930 last night. you could tell she didnt want to leave and really enjoyed the company! first we went to wal-mart and found 3 really nice shirts that would work really well. however we couldnt find any pants to fit that skinny, skinny girl! so i was thinking, "hmmm...i have a pair of pants that are really nice that i dont wear often, so i felt she could really use those more than me". i asked her if she wanted to stop by my house real quick since it is close and she could just have those! so we did. i felt awful because she was afraid to walk in my house because it was "so nice" i was like, "girl, just come in"! (i didn't quite understand this yet and she didnt even walk in past the front door) so i went to get those pants and noticed i had like 5 shirts that i never wear that i was going to give to goodwill so i just grabbed those too and asked her if she wanted them also. she was almost in tears. "american eagle? express? gap? i have never even thought about buying things from there". it made me feel so yucky. i don't really know why, but i just felt stupid for getting things from there, you know!?


anyway, we went from there to ross to try to find her another pair of pants... nothing. then we went to marshalls to try to find pants... again, nothing! so we went next door to target and finally found some pants that really fit her well and worked perfect! she was so excited and almost in tears again! during our time together she kept asking if i was hungry. she was starving, she kept saying. so she asked if i could please take her to get something to eat. by this time we had spent all but 2 dollars i was given. all i could think is, "i really dont have the money to do this", but God just told me "Katy, shut up and take the girl to eat!!!"


she asked if we could go to her favorite place, HuHot... so there we went! it was a neat place. but more importantly, this is where our conversation went more in depth. it just really opened my eyes to a lot of things. she opened up to me about her aunt that passed away not too long ago, her dad being in jail, her lupus, her being raped, etc. she was telling me that its just been hard for her to believe in God when all of these bad things are happeneing to her. so we talked about that and i just tried my best to speak truth to her. she feels like she cant go to church because people will judge her. i told her that the people in our group have been through many things and it's so amazing to see where they are now. so i think she was encouraged by that.


she said that she wants to go to the wednesday night event, so i hope to be there too, for her. she also said that she will be at church sunday and hopes to see me there also. i want her plugged in. and accepted. i dont know how to tell you exactly how i felt last night. but i saw where she is living (with the boyfriend she shouldnt be with) and she isn't even sleeping on a bed. they don't have a bed!!!!! they are sleeping on a blanket on the floor. and she said that all she had to eat yesterday was a taco, and she was hurting so bad because of her lupus.


then we went to her moms, and her mom was in so much pain last night but is still keeping her daughter so she could go to work. and i was just thinking, "gah, who am i to complain about things?" i mean. she still has $220 to pay for july's rent, her utility bill and all of august rent, etc. and i complain because im having trouble paying one little bill or whatever it may be. i mean, i have a bed to sleep on, a pillow to lay my head down on, a clean house, a couch, food, a table and a husband that loves me like Christ calls him to. gosh, i'm tearing up again now just thinking about it. it just really broke my heart and opened my eyes. i gave her my phone number so she could call me if she needed anything. and for some reason, i was up at 4am this morning, so i texted her and told her to have a good first day of work! so, i dont know. i was just really blessed yesterday. i didnt know what to expect but God blew me away."


when katy told me all about this, it brought tears to both of our eyes. it's amazing how blessed you can feel when you provide for others...blessing them. but for me, it's also very frustrating. frustrating that everyday we all pass people in need, people who are hurting...but we just turn a blind eye, a deaf ear, and keep going about our day.


at the end of the day, what's really important? the very latest in cell phone technology? the top of the line upgrades on your new suv? who really needs that shopping spree?