3.01.2009

Missing: Communication

when does something good turn into something bad?

i will be the first to tell you that technology is a wonderful thing. it has made all of our lives amazingly easier than they were even 5 or 10 years ago. i love the fact that i don't have to go inside a gas station anymore to prepay for gas, i can just swipe a card. and when i get home, i don't have to worry how much money i have, i can just look at my bank account balance in real-time on my wireless laptop. pretty cool stuff, so don't get me wrong, but the question remains, when does something good turn into something bad?

with that being asked, here's my two cents. i feel that, as a society, we have lost the ability to communicate. we have turned into a culture of instant messages and meaningless facebook updates... of nonstop text messages and constant tweets (a tweet is a instant mass message from twitter.com, just wait, it might just drive you crazy very, very soon!) now, while all of these forms of 'communication' may be great in a certain context, i feel that we have; or will soon (see tweets above) constantly crossed the line from 'necessity' into laziness and convenience.

i will use myself as a perfect example. lately, i have found myself constantly clicking over to facebook to see who has changed their status...as if any of it is going to make any difference to me. i go back constantly, only to be disappointed everytime, because no ones status is fulfilling to me. please don't be offended, i mean, that's great that you're going to the movies later, or are very tired, or are studying. good for you, but i don't think that me knowing these things has any bearing on my life whatsoever...so, why do i keep going back? perhaps because i am human, and i enjoy personal communication. personal communication, through a message on a computer, i must be on drugs!

i know of other people who are in dating relationships, and they 'communicate' more through text messages than actual phone or personal conversations on a daily basis. what is that? is there substance to those phone buttons? can you read tone through those digital letters on the screen? something has been lost. we spend less and less time personally communicating with one another and more and more time wondering why we don't get along..asking why they are mad at you...wondering why they are ignoring the last text you just sent.

when was the last time you had a real, personal, face-to-face, looking square in the eye, meaningful conversation with someone?

as for me, i have decided to put facebook on the shelf for a while, and see how it's loss in my life really effects me. i know that this blog really isn't a personal conversation, per se, but i also feel that it opens the line of personal reflection and potential real, purpose driven conversation. what do you thing about that? do you think that technology has led to a loss of intimate, purposeful dialogue in your life? hit me up with a text message or tweet! ttyl...

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've communicated with people by forums for many years and it is my opinion that in that format you can have meaningful communication and learn to judge the tone of people by experience.

I think the same is true in this format, though it tends to limit the length of conversations.

I will say that messages made intentionally as short as possible make it impossible to judge tone.

Jeff Reininger said...

"I will say that messages made intentionally as short as possible make it impossible to judge tone." my point exactly. we rely on text messaging as a form of communication...but the reality is, it's just a way to relay information. and i think that those two things are completely different.

i know that forums and all these other forms of communication can have their place, but i often think that people prefer these types of information relays over face to face (or at least phone) conversation.

i'm going to throw numbers in the air here and say that 20% of disagreements in relationships occur due to confusion through texting. i'm using calculated assumptions there based on previous personal experience and things i hear more often that i'd like to. that just seems silly to me. but the funniest (ironicly) part is that these people are aware that texting causes these agruments, yet they do nothing to remedy the situation.

also, there is something about actually engaging with a person face to face that makes a relationship prosper. i think that a relationship based on clicks of a keyboard shows a lack of desire. just my thoughts...

Anonymous said...

My phone account has texting disabled, so I don't have to worry about that.

I like talking to people face to face, but often schedules conflict. The great thing about a forum is that you can have a group discussion with unlimited words (and usually pictures are allowed) that's convenient for everyone's schedules. Blogs with feedback function similarly except that they are decentralized (have to check many different places) and are arranged by last opening post rather than last comment.

jose said...

Jay forums, are great. But having the time to talk to someone face to face is something you can't beat.

As for texting, facebook, and all that jazz. I agree with Jeff. Messaging and phones has made people anti-social in a way.

Why do people text about, a important issue, instead of talking about it?

Also texting is a way for people to avoid conflict. Especially in relationships. Instead of confronting the person. We just text, if anything, it makes it worse.

Anonymous said...

the easiest way to avoid conflict is to simply cut off ALL forms of communication.

-Jeff

Sara said...

Jeff,
I agree with you on this one. I think we as a society are so much lonlier now than ever before, even with the information highway, technology, phones, texts, etc. I had given up on television in my house, I got rid of cable, but watch a few shows online. I originally gave up tv for Lent a few years ago. It worked, I read more books and got out more.

This year, I am giving up on my cell phone. Actually, I have to use it for incoming but the whole having it with me, on my person, 24/7 is really stupid. I mean for real, do we really need to find each other in the bathroom? Cell phones make it easy to track someone down. I stopped answering it when I am somewhere or with someone that needs my attention. I just got back from a visit with my brother. Time with him is precious and rare. My cell phone kept buzzing because I get a ton of spam text now (that is what I get for using my cell number as my main number) and he kept asking me, don't you want to answer that? My reply was no. My brother was more important than dealing with the cell phone.

So, you won't see me with my cell phone clipped to me or easily available, and if you call me, you will probably leave a message so I can get back with you when I am able to.

Technology is a good thing, however, it has made us complacent people.

All in,
Sara

Jeff Reininger said...

sara,

i love it. i know exactly what you mean about us being connected all the time, and how annoying that can be. perfect example, the other day i was in the living room watching tv, and i realized that my cell phone (have no home phone) was in the bedroom...so, what did i do, got up, walked into the bedroom, got the cell phone, walked backed to the living room and sat back down, placing the cell phone right next to me. 2 hours later, its bed time, so i get up, grab my phone and head to the bedrooom. the phone never rang once.

how addicted to being connected are we! i sat in bed thinking, something is wrong here. why do i feel the need to be 'plugged in' to everything, all the time? we have lost the ability to rest. we are in constant 'communication' with others, but rarely do we really say anything.

Anonymous said...

Tech has definately backfired on me. One relationship (which was admittedly already down the tubes) broke up over an instant message conversation (breakdown of communication - as you said.) I don't use it to this day. I just can't see the appeal of Twitter, and I'm minimally involved in Facebook. So my crutch is blogging.

Jeff Reininger said...

matt, couldn't agree more. its difficult to mix technology and matters of the heart. one seems so spontaneous, so unpredictable, so real; and the other seems so manufactured and lifeless. i think we already know which is which.