Come Awake

the shuffle setting on the iPod is an amazing thing. quite often, it seems to know exactly what song i want (or need) to hear. today was no exception. driving home from my mom and dad's house, and the shuffle selects a beauty. david crowder band's come awake, and it brought me to tears. it was exactly what i needed to hear. the past several days...i've seen so much heartache, pain, frustration, anger, hatred and confusion. i was at my breaking point, then i hear...

"Are we left here on our own?
Can you feel when your last breath is gone?
Night is weighing heavy now
Be quiet and wait for a voice that will say"

suddenly the tears are flowing...all the anger and heartache that i've seen for the past few days is spilling over. i know i can't do it anymore on my own. i'm weak. i need a release. so many questions. what can i possibly do to fix others problems? what can i take and learn from this? how can i be different? how can i fix everything? is it all beyond repair? then, the tears keep flowing, but the questions stop. i hear...

"Come awake, from sleep arise
You were dead, become alive
Wake up, wake up, open your eyes
Climb from your grave into the light
Bring us back to life
You are not the only one who feels like the only one"

suddenly, the questions are gone...the realization occurs, they were never relevant. my heart is on the mend. i know the road is a long one... but i've blocked out the disappointing shortcuts... i know there is no other option. there's only one that satisfies anyway. i know my role... i know why God put me here... i can hear Him speaking to me. there's no running from the cause, there's no hiding in the shadows. because...

"Night soon will be lifted, friend
Just be quiet and wait for a voice that will say
Rise, rise, to life, to life"

this night will end...tomorrow, dawn will come... an new day, a new chance to make things right. another chance to...

"Shine
Light will shine
Love will rise
Light will shine, shine, shine, shine
He’s shining on us now"

thanks God for loving me and for allowing me to see Your beauty through all the misery. there was a time not too long ago i would have forgotten about all that shines. thanks ryan for your encouraging words to help me get through the day. and thanks katy, my beautiful wife, for understanding me when i get frustrated, having compassion for what breaks my heart, for your shoulder to cry on and your hand to wipe away all my tears. you really don't know how much that means to me.

"you are not the only one who feels like the only one"