Hallelujah

last night there were 2 concerts on tv...both the same band, but 2 completely different shows. the foo fighters (one of my all-time fav's) were playing on both pbs' austin city limits and vh1, live from wembley stadium. one concert, (acl) had a couple thousand spectators max, with ages ranging from teens to at least mid-sixties. a majority of the people standing politely, quite a few in polo shirts and khaki's, with a couple fans yelling out on rare occassion...a real sense of respect and attentiveness. The other (wembley stadium) packed an historical stadium with over 83,000 screaming, yelling, dancing, singing at the top of their lungs to every lyric while standing for hours in the cold rain fans. like i said, 1 band, 2 completely different shows.

i've always loved music and i've been at both of these types of shows, and each one presents a certain emotion with it. music is emotion put to sound and word. music and emotion is something i think we all crave...we are emotional beings. that presents a fear of mine...i've always felt that if i understand and repleclate something that i admire, my admiration will deplete...perhaps because i've accomplished that which seemed so intriguing to me at one point, i don't know, i'm weird like that.

see, i've always wished that i could be a musician, but anyone who knows me will tell you that i have absolutely no rhythm, can't play a music instrument to save my life and am most like 100% tone deaf...so thus, musicians and the music they create becomes very intriguing and fascinating to me. i used to try writing songs, but what good is writing words if there is no music to go with it? i still have books and journals filled with my words, my thoughs, my emotions, my musicless songs.

there was a time a few years ago when that's pretty much all i did was fill up journals with words...i didn't know who i was, and i was frightened to seek that, to find out who i was. a good friend of mine (rick) introducted me to a song that would help in shaping my life, or at least give me comfort. like i said, i felt lost, confused as to who i was, but the moment i heard this song, i felt like someone else finally understood me. i know it silly, to think that some guy who has never met me would write a song that spoke to me, but i don't think i'm the only person who's ever felt that way.

his name was jeff buckley, and the song is called fittingly, hallelujah. perhaps a few of you already know the song, but here it is to enjoy, to get lost with, to connect with...